Crisis averted!

So, after being up until quarter to two in the morning, trying (but failing) at writing a 10 page religion research paper, i decided that it was time to get into my nice clean (just washed this evening) sweatpants and fuzzy socks! Now understand that this paper was trying to kill me all day! i printed over 100 pages of research, and have 6 different (large) commentaries checked out from the library, and im a missionary kid. How hard can it be to take 10 pages worth of material out of countless pages of research and stuff i got stored away somewhere in the missionary for future reference section of my brain, right??

WRONG!!

Apparently its pretty damn hard. I am at hour... ummm 8 9? maybe 10? of writing this paper and what do i have 5 and 1/2 measly pages!! Thats only half done! ahh! thank goodness its not due until Monday. but wait, theres more! I finally decided to actually make use of the student - help me write a paper for my class - center (also known at the rhetoric center - its for those of us who cant spell to save their lives...) yeah, my appointment with them is tomorrow... papers only half done but maybe they can guide me in a next step kind of direction, right??

*crosses fingers, and squeezes eyes shut tightly*

On a brighter not, i started watching this movie on hulu as background noise as i poured over papers of research hoping to find something useful - and big enough that my can read a things eyes could actually interpret - and its all about this girl and her wedding. Started out really funny, and then all of a sudden i flipped to the screen that the movie was on and went "HOLY CRAP!! THATS ME!!!" She was confused and being pulled in a bunch of different ways by different people and wanted everyone to shut up except for one person... there was just one person that she wanted to hear from, and that person was the one that wasn't saying anything.

I have totally had those moments! Where i'm looking at something for the wedding or the registry and he says yeah they are nice. I say but which do you like? and again, they are both nice. Sometimes i just want to scream! Pick one please! Have an opinion! I love him dearly but sometimes i cant take the whole whatever you want baby. So sometimes i want to scream at him to have an opinion... and sometimes i do...

which unfortunately usually leads to the exact opposite of what i was going for. i wanted a nice little discussion and it end with me yelling him getting upset and making some snappy comment back and then me leaving in tears. This scenario has played itself out far too many time - i wait to say anything until i just can hold it in any longer and then i blow up and then it all goes to pot...

So i'm sitting at my desk sulking about my unfinished paper, the opinions i wanted from Jeffrey about the registry tonight and our oh so many disagreements, arguments and other such things that this movie is showing me - telling me it happens to everyone and i should feel quite so horrible, but feeling a little bad about it is good - when i realize that i have to pee, which leads to changing into sweatpants, which leads to discovering that my feet are cold. So, naturally, i go digging through my laundry basket of clean laundry (that i failed to put away because of my epic failure on my paper) and i find my green and blue stripped fuzzy sock... and its still warm from the dryer! Score - now if i could just find the other one... and this is where the melt down begins... as i search and search my laundry basket for my other warm fuzzy sock i nearly burst into tears realizing that there are days that i wonder what the hell i have gotten myself into with this wedding!

and then i see it... my warm fuzzy sock on the floor next to the laundry basket... it was there all along, i just assumed it was wrapped up in all the other mess - but it wasn't. if i had just taken the time to step back and look around a little i would have noticed it was there... and then i wouldn't have been crying and a blubbering mess over a sock - granted some of it probably had to do with the severe lack of sleep and the unfinished paper looming over my head - but it helped put everything back into perspective. I have four more months to plan this wedding - i only have 2 and 1/2 more weeks of school, and work - well thats for the rest of my life - but as i step back and put it all in perspective i can see Gods hand in it, and i can hear a small faint whisper among the craziness of my life telling me to slow down and stop worrying about whats going on - that he has got it all under control.

ps. if anyone wants an in depth research paper on 1st Peter 3:1-6 (wives in marriage) let me know and i can e-mail it to you when its done - which will hopefully be by 11:30 Monday morning!!